He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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