Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
