If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
