Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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