i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
