if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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