How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
