My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
