We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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