woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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