i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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