a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
