The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
