Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize