I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There r osticjed everywhere
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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