just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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