I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
