dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
