I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
