guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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