LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
