Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
