So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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