Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
