so explain again why im purple
no
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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