I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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