I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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