She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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