I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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