In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
