Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
