the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
