If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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