It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
