sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He is an equal opportunity slut.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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