I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
