I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
