3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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