So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
