He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
