i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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