hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize