I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize