Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's just like the Real World with babies
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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