Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
