she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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