I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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