I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize