Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
