just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
