I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
