I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
