We're like a lot better than the average bears
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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