This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize