Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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