new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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