If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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