Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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