I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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