my soul wont recognize me after tonight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize