Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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