there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize