I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
